The Mechanic has been assaulting my heart over the past two days. It’s melting. I feel like a reborn romantic, enjoying his adoration and feeling more confident about who I am and that someone will find me attractive again.

A selection of messages that just make you go “aww!”

When asked why he was cold and wet (mentioned in an earlier text):
I’m cold ‘cos I’m wet and I’m wet ‘cos I’ve been working in the rain. Some warming up from you would be lovely.
(Mechanic working in the rain. Smell the testosterone. I think I will faint).

When it was suggested that not booking any jobs in one Friday and blazing it up to London on his motorbike might not be sensible for his finances:
But I’d get to see you!
(If only life was so simple).

When asked what he was doing awake at 3.30 this morning when I drunkenly texted him:
Replying to your message gorgeous.
(Further enquiry revealed that he had been asleep, but my text had woken him. If it had been the other way around, I regret to admit I probably would have ignored it, rolled over and nodded back off to sleep).

And, finally, just because:
I’m missing you like mad. I haven’t stopped thinking about you since you left. I can’t wait to see you again and wake up in the morning and wrap my arms around you and see you smile.

I can’t decide if I want to wrap me up in those massive arms, or wrap him up and look after him forever. Very sweet.

In other Y-shaped news, Beardy is up in Nottingham with his best mate and has been texting me. This hasn’t really registered. I feel light where he is concerned now. The final painful threads seem to have been cut and I don’t find interacting with him particularly difficult anymore.

Fire Man is in Venice. With his family. Well, so he reckons. They flew out early on 28th and are back New Year’s Eve. He sent me a message telling me that he had just got a picture message from me and that I get hotter every day. Hmm. I think he got the message a few days ago when I sent it, but as he hadn’t heard anything out of me, he had used it as a reason to contact me. That or he is having worse luck with his mobile phone than I had earlier in the year. Anyway, I sent something back about how Venice will be lovely, “very romantic”, and then I got a text back cutting that down saying that he’s sure Venice is romantic but doubtful as he’s going with family. Do I buy it? Naaah. Does it sadden me? A little.

He and I “have plans” to catch up on New Year’s Day. I don’t have any intention of this happening. Maybe I would have done, just for the bedroom action, but over Christmas there were a lot of messages going back and forth where he sounded incredibly in to me. Discussing good ways to see in the New Year (cough cough, what do YOU think we were talking about?!) and he said: “Can’t think of too many better ways just make sure I’m your first… I’d be jealous otherwise x x x” (sic) So, he either meant one of the following: “Can’t think of too many ways. Just make sure I’m your first” or “Can’t think of too many better ways to make sure I’m your first”. Either way, it got my back up. Perhaps it was a joke, but I wondered why he said it and immediately started thinking that he’d do exactly what I would do if I was spending NYE with my partner (hmm, chance of having one would be a fine thing!)… After all the fun and games of drinking in the New Year, I’d do what millions of couples will do and that is head home for naughtiness in bed. So, perhaps he wants the thrill of shagging Claire and then get a kick out of trying to do two women in one day.

Or he’s insecure and thinks I have men queuing up.

I like the latter idea, but it’s unlikely.

The last I heard out of him was late on the night before his flight: “Roll on 2008! I so want to fuck you now though… x xx”

That’s nice dear.

Men. I am shit with them.