I’m in a bit of a sour mood, and it is our stupid Christmas party tonight.

I am not drinking. I will have a wee slurp of mulled wine (carefully timed between doses of antibiotics), but other than that, I’m not risking it. I have treated myself to a bottle of Appletizer instead. Go. Me. I have also applied EXTRA eyeshadow as a sort of compensation. Where alcohol fails me, eyeshadow will not. It’s lush. Green. The lady in MAC helped me choose colours to suit my skin tone. When I say there is a lot, I mean a LOT. It’s all very pretty and I took ages over it.

So, all tarted up, I sat down at my computer to check emails (and Facebook of course) and in my inbox were two from a friend of mine who I never really get to see much, Melon,. The first email had the subject line “thanks”. It reads like this:

hey
thanks for kind invite to your party tonight….
sadly I can’t make it.
hope you enjoyed both of mine recently.
merry xmas
your ‘friend’
Melon

The second email, sent ten minutes after the first reads like this:

so maybe that was a nasty email, so i apologise.  i’m sure there’s a good reason.
i’m an idiot.

Now, maybe I ought to have been a little more forgiving given his second email, but it was like a red rag to a bull. I didn’t even want this sodding party anyway – it was one of the many things that my housemates discussed and then did the usual “we think that [insert thing, in this case, having a little Christmas gathering] would be nice and have chosen [x] weekend to do it, are you free?” And as they asked several months ago, my diary was indeed empty. On top of that, today they decided that we were doing a house outing to the supermarket to buy a load of wine to make mulled wine… and I forked out 1/3 of the bill at the checkout because we are paying evenly… except I am not drinking. So… Well, as usual, it feels like they’re taking me for a ride somewhat and reminds me of how I felt when the digibox episode happened.

Plus Transport Planners mates are all downstairs making loads of noise and they are all geeky boys (remember the loser group from school and uni? Yeah, it’s them).

So, he got this reply:

The entire thing was organised by my housemate Desk Editor through Facebook.
She then added me and Transport Planner as admins.
All I did was send a mass Facebook invite to people I know in London who happen to be on facebook. It wasn’t one of those “oh, I’ll invite this person and that person” or “I won’t invite this person” things.
I get the impression you think you were deliberately left out? That certainly wasn’t the case.
As with any social event that I am involved in, it’s always open invite. Everyone talks. That is the thing about the people I am friends with from Cesspit – I didn’t realise that anyone would think they were not invited on purpose. To be frank, Melon, I have had a little too much on my mind recently what with being diagnosed with and treated for cancer, so I wasn’t up for the party in the firat place but Desk Editor organised it and as I live here, I sort of have to go along with it. I haven’t sent any texts to coral people into coming, I haven’t sent a load of mass emails. I didn’t give this “do” much thought at all. I am on a concoction of drugs and can’t drink and all I really want to do is sit in bed and watch shit telly.You are more than welcome to attend. It’s going to be crap. My housemates aren’t exactly party animals, and the entire thing revolves around minced pies and mulled wine, hardly a happening affair. Of course, that is no excuse for failing to invite you. I hope you appreciate that it wasn’t a nasty thing on my part.I am sorry that you have decided to think how you have about this. I think it says just as much about how you regard me, as how you THINK I regard you.

I’ll sort it out tomorrow. But right now I am struggling not to go out and buy a machine gun and blast Transport Planner away. I haven’t the energy or inclination to go into it, but he is just a dickwad. Everything about him fucks me to God off.